Photo Credit, From the Hip Photo, March 2017

Last month I shared my thoughts via audio about how much can you, or I can accomplish in a day, and the importance of asking for help and allowing others to support us. 

What is on my mind today has a similar flavor, and that is the notion of "doing it right".  As soon as I typed that phrase my internal dialog said "whatever that means", my rational mind wants to argue that there is no right way of doing anything, and yet the pressure that can ensue surrounding this myth can take over and paralyze my efforts.

A lot of the "do it right" thinking comes from the desire for perfection, an unattainable yet tempting place that women (at least myself) can tend to strive to be even while knowing it's not possible. 

"Pressure comes from all sides and settles uncomfortably in the laps of women trying to do everything the right way." -Karen Kleiman

A mind field of this type of thinking can pop up in areas where we are navigating something new, a path not walked down before. There is nothing like being 8.5 months pregnant that brings out the opinions of others the floodgates of advice comes rolling in causing lots of thoughts comparing to others and judging myself for what I do or don't know, "I have not thought of that, crap I should read more on that topic".  Because we live in a world where anything can be googled and Pinterest will be there to reliably show us all the possible "hacks" to get it right, it can be difficult to put the opinions aside and find a way that works for you. 

"Too many [women] are becoming anxious and depressed because they are overwhelmed and disappointed. Too many are letting their lives be poisoned by guilt because their expectations can't be met, and because there is an enormous cognitive dissonance between what they know to be right for themselves and what they're told is right for their children." .-Judith Warner

Regardless of the topic, there is an overwhelming amount of information available to us from others, our own research and imagined idea of how we are "supposed to" get something right. 

So how am I handling the feeling of "get it right" perfectionism as I round the corner into motherhood? Not overly gracefully but I am certainly putting effort into a few actions that have provided some reprieve that I will share with you. 

The first thing I have done is to do my best to have perspective and empathy about where the information is coming from.  I remember when my Father died three years ago, many people would say things to me like "when my grandma died", and at first I was offended that anyone would compare a grandparent to a parent, "do they have any clue what this is like".  When I chose to hear that person through the filter of empathy and love, I could see that more than likely they were just uncomfortable and wanted to relate to me in a way that they could, not really knowing what to say.  With unsolicited parenting advice, I am applying the same school of thought, this person is wanting to relate to me, be closer, and possibly share something that meant a lot to them, they might feel like they are handing me the keys to the parenting kingdom, maybe they are! The point is to rely on empathy and perspective to see people as my ally and with the filter of love. 

The other strategy I am employing to combat perfectionism and the "Do it right" mentality is to try to cut myself some slack.  This, is by far the hardest action for me to take and yet the simplest. The best way to actually do this are these two simple things; let myself off the hook for not knowing how to do something I have never done, duh, and, to not compare myself to others.  I was talking to a friend yesterday about how my workouts have not only changed but in the past week felt nearly impossible, I never thought I'd see the day that walking up hill was hard.  The best thing I can do for myself during this time is NOT get on Instagram and look for "moms to be that crossfit" to compare my efforts to others.  We all have our own experiences and for me sticking to my own without muddying the waters with what others do can be the best way to stay away from feeling like a failure. 

The beautiful underbelly of all of this is that if I peel off the layer of wanting to get it right and achieve perfection and see the innocence in my thoughts, my true intention is that I really want to be my best for those in my life I care about and the work I do in the world.  If I can remember to have empathy for myself and others I have a real chance at enjoying my experiences instead of making them right or wrong. 

How about you, does this resonate? Do you have a difficult time navigating new territory without comparing yourself to others or striving for out of reach perfectionism? 

Send me a note or comment here, I would love to hear from you! My intention is to blog as frequently as ideas come to me and I appreciate you reading along!  I look forward to posting about my experiences as I continue integrating motherhood into my work and relationships. 

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business advisor, Founder, writer & keynote speaker to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

How much can you accomplish in a day?  Well, if you are anything like me you take a certain amount of pride in what you are able to do with your time and most of the time, when you want something done you simply, handle it.

In the spirit of keeping things fresh and exciting, listen to this short and insightful dialog around asking for help.

Is it hard for you to know when to ask for help? 

Let me know what you think about the audio, something new I am playing with :) 

Click here if you'd like to listen on Anchor.com instead of in this post

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

Lindsey Rainwater, Photo taken by From the HIp Phtoto, March 2017 

Tony Robbins and others talk about ideas like "integration" instead of balance, for people like myself that are deeply passionate about their work and friendships, then it becomes less about choosing and more about integrating.  I often hear people say, "I don't act that way at work" or "in my personal life", statements like this rattle me! It is impossible to fragment yourself in that way. Sure, we can all perform certain tasks or deliver on objectives but who we are all bleeds together, you are a whole person everywhere you go and if "part of you" is not at the party, well, everyone including you is suffering. As I like to say, "who you are at the kitchen table is who you are at work"... my kitchen table is about to be set for 3, and I am anticipating the adventure of how that will propel me to be even better and have more to offer in every area of my life.

The above quote is from my last article "the Context of Integration" if you missed it, check it out to inform my context for this blog... see how I did that? :)  My intention is to focus this blog post on all things integration, now that we have some context around why I am talking about integration on a whole new level, let's chat about how the future of work "mentality" can inform a schedule or ideals for living.

Now as a disclaimer,  I am writing on these topics and speculating amidst my journey being pregnant, nothing I share has been vetted by myself as a parent, yet. So I am sure those of you that are parents already have informed opinions about what I am writing about based on experiences you've had, so please join in the conversation! It will be really great to see if my intentions and ideals line up with reality, only time will tell ;-)

Back to "The future of work" idea... what is this concept all about anyway? It certainly is a heavy buzz phrase being used and I do have my own opinion on the topic and there is of course always also what google has to say.  

The Future of work is a lot of things to a lot of people based on their motivation and topic they are relating it to, and, for the purpose of our discussion lets keep it simple;  if you distill down the concepts it boils down to what is possible relating to work, because of technology.   For instance, growing up, my Dad was an Engineer, he "went to work" everyday, to an office where his computer and the people he collaborated with also went, to do his job, returning home each evening leaving all the things required to "do his job", there at the office.  Now, if my Dad did that exact same job today, he could work 100% remote, from anywhere in the world.  Thanks to laptops, iPhones, and video conferencing a role like his could be done completely outside of the construct of a company occupying an office space etc.  

With that flexibility all sorts of freedoms become available, he could have easily taken a lunch break at home, taken a 30 minute break to do the afternoon carpool pick up, and really allowed for a completely different co-parenting arrangement than what I grew up with.  My Mom would have had the flexibility during the day having him home, and arguably, he would have gotten the same (if not more) work done with less the typical office distractions.  The idea of co-parenting becomes more liberated when you add in "future of work" concepts because lines are blurred, it is no longer a linear process of "we all leave the house, we all come back to the house" but instead, the home becomes a hub  and off site offices or daycare becomes less necessary.  

An important note to add here is that remote work requires many upstanding character traits both for the employee and the employer.  I am not saying this transition from office to home can happen over night, however with the right culture and values in place, anything is possible when seen through the lens of abundance.  The good news is if the organization and it's employees can take on the venture, the concept of the future of work can really liberate our existing "jobs" and create new dynamics that disrupt the old styles and models of work.

One of my favorite ideas that is found inside of this same notion is that of "jobs" no longer existing and instead collaboration or aligned talent becomes the new way.  Think freelancing, but at signifiant scale.  However, that is another blog for another time, coming back to the topic... what is most important here is the idea that IF we are working in collaboration, with location freedom, the opportunities to get extremely creative with integration becomes completely available to anyone that wants to try it out. 

In 2011 my mentor and friend, Bryan O'Rourke suggested I read a book called the 4 hour work week, I did and now I am going to suggest that you, go read that book if have not before!  That book planted a very important idea in my mind that has since collided with other similar ideas and helped inform many of my day to day decisions.  I realized after reading that book that my choices, what I as spending time on, was completely up to me, and my evaluation of how I did certain activities was also, up to me.  I (nor anyone else) is at "the effect" of any choices, you at some point, made a choice that is contributing to what is your current reality.  So if you are doing something and want to be doing something else, make a new choice.  For instance, would you rather spend an extra two hours per weekend with your spouse instead of cleaning your house, well, outsource that chore to a person that likes cleaning and pay them to clean your house, get that time back.  Feel like you can't afford that? How much did you spend at Amazon or at Starbucks today? The money is usually there if you look for it.  That is one example, but I really started asking myself questions about my time, where I spent it, was it really creating the results I wanted and how could I change if it wasn't? 

A good place to start would be to take an inventory of what you are currently spending time on.  Just like analyzing your bank account transactions to assess where your money is going, assessing what you spend time in is a very similar activity.  Are you committed to suffering or thriving? wasting time or creating time?  All of these choices are yours for the taking. 

A good way to do this is print out a by the hour calendar, or use a digital daily view and write in each day, then for the week what you are doing and for how long, don't lie, you will only cheat yourself if you do.  Once you have done this "reverse" calendaring of sorts, start to look at what you spend time doing and for how long, create groups, rank them, include sleep, tv time, time with loved ones, gym activities... record everything you do... how long does it take you to get ready in the morning etc.  After you have inventoried your time, take a good look at the facts about what you are spending time on and only when ready,  ask yourself these two vital questions.  

Do you actually want to create time to integrate new and exciting endeavors? 

Do you want to experience thriving or have you created a life of suffering to keep you safe?

Part of this mind shift is giving up any notion of martyrdom or complaining, sure life can be hard, but talking about what you don't enjoy less action will no longer work once you know the facts about your time spending habits. 

Once you know the answer to your question, if you are willing to integrate thriving into your life, the future of work becomes a concept that is totally obvious and easy to consider. 

In my world, all of these activities and concepts combined by a very realistic (almost obsessive) knowledge of where my time goes, is really informing how I am planning to integrate being a mother, my work in the world and all of my favorite relationships into one big pot of Lindsey Rainh2o, soup! 

Commitment, choice and intention.  Every single day can be filled with work helping others, time with those you love and time investing in yourself.  Although, becoming a mother is the largest integration I have ever imagined, I do believe that rather than thinking I can "do it all", whatever that means, instead, I get to choose from a place of choice.  I choose now and plan to continue to choose to create time each day to do the things I really love doing and that mindset, I believe will contribute to informing how I co author the next chapter of my life integration. 

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

Photo Credit: From the Hip, Photo of Lindsey and Jeremy Rainwater 

I have officially created my blueprint for 2017 and I feel excited to share my process with you! I have followed this process for multiple years now and I can tell you that it works for me. I set the intention and then accomplish exactly what I set out to do and that feels really good! My husband and I (photo above) give ourselves at least half of a day to spread out and create both individual and collaborative items for both of us. I will say that in my experience, especially with the purchase of our new home together, it is important to not only set your intentions, but also to revisit your goals on regular basis. We spent time every month reviewing our goals and results, which gave us insight on how we needed to adjust our plan along the way, which ultimately brought us to our North Star Goals. It has been my experience that although creating the plan is GREAT, it is only half of the battle and having a way to review that plan on a regular basis is the true magic behind the art of completing what you set out to do.

Here are my three steps to creating intentions and actions for what I want to create over a twelve month period. 

Visualize! Then Write it Down

I really enjoy starting the process by imagining and visualizing where I want to go by viewing it on a calendar and also writing it out in a word cloud format. Start with a large piece of paper and write down all the things big and small that you wish to accomplish. It will look messy, it will look crazy disorganized and that is the point! Let your creativity put everything down on paper you could possibly imagine accomplishing over the course of the time you are planning for.  Once you've brainstormed to the point of not being able to think of anything else, walk away, clear your mind for a bit and then come back to complete. I find this exercise to be both liberating and fun because you can write anything down, you've not committed to anything yet, only brainstorming.  

Make a list, Check it Twice

Now that all your creative flow is out on paper and also might look super messy to you (all good), it's time to make some sense of it!  Begin by extracting the themes and creating a list. If you see on your word cloud "write book" then that would go on the list, or "family vacation" then put it on the list. Some of the items on your word cloud might not make it on the list and that's okay. The word cloud is the brainstorm this is the practical part, what do you actually want to accomplish this year?  Of what is on your word cloud what do you actually want to do and what has a serge of excitement to you? Once you have a well formed list it's time to create a plan!

Calendar Calendar Calendar  

If it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist!    Once you've created your list, you must create action and intention.   A plan to literally accomplish the exciting objectives you've created for yourself. The way I do this is to put down first what is literally time sensitive. The conference that I plan on attending, the wedding that's a destination event that I want to also make a vacation.  Those are items that are set in stone on your calendar because they are literal dates.  Everything else on your list goes into your calendar as a project relative to when you want to accomplish it, or are being asked to complete.   If you want to actually start creating a blog or writing a book you have to plan time for yourself to actually do that, time for the deep work outside of meetings and other work.  The other thing you might do is create a to do list from these items that is per month.  In past years I've created a list for every month of major action steps affiliated with my projects so that  way no matter what's going on, I have a very accurate to do list that captures my large "Northstar" goals.

The wonderful thing about having a to do list in the calendar that reflects your yearly initiatives is that no matter what happens you have a path.  No matter what's going on in your life you have certain things that you've decided to do no matter what, and personally I find this to be a beautiful thing. 

I'd love to hear your process of planning,  share your ideas and ways you plan to succeed! 

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter @LindseyRainH2O

A beautiful thing happened three weeks ago, my husband and I closed on our very first purchased home! A very exciting time to say the least and one that I under estimated by way of time it takes to settle into your home vs a rental.  For anyone else that is a home owner, I am sure you can relate to all of the unanticipated "things" that come from the rental, to ownership transition.  News flash, you need a mailbox, trash cans, and on and on... :-)

The other night I was in the car with my husband and I tell him, you know, I have not written my follow on blog for goal setting and intentions, and I realized today that it's because I have not done my own intentions setting for this year! (GASP)!!! It is January freaking 26th and I have failed to create my typical visioning session that happens for me the first week of the year.  He looks at me and says, "We have had a bit going on you know", me, of course I know this, and then there is the immediate guilt and shame surrounding letting my own "process" down.  And then, it dawns on me, the most obvious thought but something I had totally overlooked.  I can pick my "start" of the "year" whenever I want, of course January is the beginning of the calendar year, but how about this year I pick February as my start! 

You see, the advice I would happily grant another would be that you don't have to wait for a calendar role over, a fresh quarter or a birthday to create a new way of being.  You can start anytime, anywhere or way you want to! I have had more than one conversation with someone wanting to start a workout plan and they want to wait until Monday, a fresh week.  My thought, so what if it's Wednesday, start! Start now! 

I write this article to share with you that I do still plan to share with you my goal planning process, and, I want to share it with you as I am creating and visioning my own 2017 plan.  And this year, my "new year" at least when it comes to this process, is starting NOW and more specifically this weekend when I have blocked off the time in my calendar.  

Another "tip" or thought that came for me when marinating on this topic is this; each of us have things we do all the time because we choose to, we workout if we have a routine around it, we do or don't drink excessive amounts of coffee.  All of your existing chosen commitments continue to role on day after day no matter when it is.  What I find enjoyable about goal setting, visioning and intention setting is that it is an act of giving myself the space to wonder and dream about what I want to do next, that is not part of my current daily commitments.  How do I want to create a plan to expand my abilites and by when.  I love Mr. Thiel's quote below, and I think that giving yourself space to dream allows for this type of plan to become reality. 

"How can you achieve your 10 year plan in the next 6 months?" 

- Peter Thiel, co-founder of Paypal and Palantir

So stay tuned for my next post about my process, and in the meantime, if you have created a new plan, and already need to re-commit to it, get to it! Stay on your chosen path.  If you mess up a few days of your new workout plan, that's okay, get up and start again tomorrow! Don't throw out your whole plan over a few missed days.  

The theme of this post is to be and considerate of your process, while also staying vigilantly dedicated to what you most want, do not loose sight of your end goal! 

Cheers, and Happy New Year ;-)

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter @LindseyRainH2O