Have you ever looked up to someone and wished you could take on their character traits? For me, I have always had a handful of people that I admire or want to "be like when I grow up."

I had a really meaningful experience in my early 20's that I want to share, a helpful exercise to tap into what you see in others, and to begin taking on those traits.

You will need a blank piece of paper or possibly a page in your journal to start.  

Begin by making a list of all of the attributes you admire in others.  This could be actual characteristics, or simple ideas.  Mine looked something like: Kind, Humble, Intelligent, Risk Taker, Humorous, Adventurous, Athletic,  Practical... The list went on and on.  

Once you have your list, really take it in, read it over, notice if there are any words that stand out to you or if you left anything out.

 Now here is the fun part, start to evaluate the list from the perspective of what attributes do you currently embody, and which ones do you honestly not currently display? Make a list, of the ones that are currently not a part of your make up, sometimes it can help to ask a friend as we can be our own worse critics.

Once you have your list, pick an attribute per month and put energy into embodying that trait for that month.

 For instance, if kindness is something you would like to be more known for, look for ways to be kind.  Open doors for others, drop off soup to your friend that has the flu.  Go out of your way to hone the skill of being kind and before you know it by the end of the month you will find yourself a kinder person.  You will find it is much like going to the gym to exercise your muscles, the more you use the muscle the stronger it gets. The same principle applies when integrating an attribute, the more frequently you flex your kindness muscle the stronger it will become.  Once you have integrated kindness, move onto the next attribute.  

The moral of the story being this; seeing what we want to aspire to be in others is important, creating a plan to evaluate the things we admire in others and a plan to integrate them is something very different.  For me, active change happens when I create a plan and a system to make the new idea a working part of my life.  When I made the connection that all of the attributes I admired in others were options for me too, if I practiced, I have been able to become what I most admire in others. 

By being the qualities I see and admire in others, I become the person I aspire to become. Or more so, get to know the person I already am more intimately.  

Do you have a role model? Someone you aspire to be like and would like help doing the exercise I listed above? Send me a note by clicking here: and let's chat about your aspirations.

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter @LindseyRainH2O

“Successful people do whatever it takes to get the job done, whether or not they feel like it.” 
― Jeff Olson

Have you ever created a workout routine plan and then actually did it? And I mean really went for it: did the fitness class 4 days a week, ran a few miles a day, did 100 crunches before bed... What happened? You got in shape, right? You became healthy and fit; the action produced a result. 

So you took the daily action and the results followed, and then what happened? You got busy, you ”developed” that extra five pounds of “frosting” again. What changed? Surely not your diet, right? Oh wait, did you stop going to the gym? Did a 7am snooze button override the sweat session you had planned? Of course it did! You stop going and the results are soon to go away leaving you wondering “what happened?!” and you wait until January 1st to start over. 

This epidemic of a roller coaster ride is woven into the fabric of many parts of our lives. I know it is easy to relate to the gym analogy because that is so familiar this time of year.  But what about your career? In your day to day life, what little actions, routines and things did you put into a plan, start doing, and then stop, leaving yourself wondering, "What happened? Where did my results go?"

In the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, he talks about this epidemic of action and consistency.  He talks about the oscillation between things going well and things not going so well and that ultimately, the big difference is in our daily actions and choices.  Your “big problem” started with one small choice.  Your five new pounds of weight gain did not happen overnight, it started happening the first day you decided to forgo your workout, and the next three, and then the habit became a new habit; not going to the gym.

And some more shocking news: your ship’s not coming—it’s already here. Docked and waiting. You already have the money. You already have the time. You already have the skill, the confidence. You already have everything you need to achieve everything you want.” 
― Jeff Olson

Each one of us possesses the skills to do exactly what it is we have set out to do.  We all have the ability to demonstrate daily habits that add up to completing big goals, so why doesn’t everyone hit their goals and succeed? Jeff explains that it is because we stop doing the small things everyday that took us from failure to good, that we don’t keep reaching success.  Instead, we regress to things not going well again and have to start over.  For me, the focus recently has been on what Jeff talks about, keeping my focus on the small daily actions and less on the outcome.  Know your goals, be clear on where you are going, and then get to work and don’t stop.  It’s when we (I) stop and do not maintain the daily actions that we begin to lose momentum and regress.  

Moral of the story: Do not throw in the towel on small action steps each day: your morning routine, 20 minutes of cardio, 10 pages of a good book. Do not stop. And once you arrive at the goal, still don’t stop; there is no arrival. Instead, create a sustainable routines that can go the distance. This whole deal is a marathon, not a sprint.  

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Lindsey Rainwater is a consultant and coach to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about Lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o, all content posted at www.lindseyrainh2o.com 

Throughout my life I have consistently chosen activities that require morning participation, as if I want so badly to be a morning person I create a life that requires me to be! being a competitive Figure skater beginning at age 6, I was on the ice by 6am, in my twenties I was a store manager for Starbucks, that alarm went off at 3:45am multiple times a week. 

Growing up, I remember watching my dad every morning reading his devotional and sipping coffee from 5-6 am, I watched my dad and began to affiliate success with a consistent morning routine.  I remember cold snowy mornings in Wisconsin, I was 5 years old, I would wake up and sit with him, if my memory serves me, he would let me sip coffee and I sat with him watching him read. 

Sometimes, I feel like My life has been a journey of case studies around morning routines.

When I talk to people about morning routines, it tends to be a hot topic.  I am not sure why, I can tell you that while the pull my bed has on me when my alarm goes off feels almost magnetic, there is great reward in standing up and taking action vs staying put... hmmm feels like a metaphor for life doesn't it?  In the spirit of sharing, here are a few theories I am currently undergoing and how they are going. 

• Favorite things first! 

My feet hit the floor, I drink a glass of water, take my vitamins, and curl up with a cup of coffee and my journal.  Post caffeination,  journal, meditation and visualizing of what I want to go down that day. Then I  prioritize what I really love first. I have heard a host of people say to do the hardest things first, I totally disagree! If I am excited about something, why wait? I want to put all of my fresh morning energy into what I am most excited about! 

• Exercising before 8am!

My most recent tug of war is when to prioritize physical activity.  In the book miracle morning, Hal Elrod discusses what he calls the savers and the magic recipe of what to do first thing in the morning to have a successful life. I myself practice a very similar routine except my "E for exercise" is sometimes done first or last in my morning routine.  But my favorite days are the ones that I run before 8am.  There is something magical about knowing that by 8am I have nurtured all of my most personal needs.  is it easy? Hell no, is it rewarding, yes! 

• Starting with this question: If you had no one to answer to, how would you behave? 

Think about it this way... Are You enough of a reason to prioritize your morning? I believe that my circumstances are always chess pieces in my own personal game of life. The people I am around, the places I go, they are always changing. My consistency and care for myself is my variable to manage.  If I want to be smarter, I can read and write while others are sleeping the wee hours of the morning. If I want to be healthy and in good cardiovascular health, I can eat egg whites and go for a run each morning.  My belief is that it's when others request these changes of us that it's harder to execute and sustain, making the activity fuel for future resentment with the person requesting the change.  

Choosing to take action because I want to and because I can is highly lubricating for one's self esteem. And in my experience nothing creates more love towards myself, than self care first thing when I wake up. The upside for your relationships? The irony is this, the more balance and care you turn toward yourself, the more you can reflect outwardly to nourish your relationships. Acting as a mirror effect.

In closing, creating sustainable, thoughtful rituals that are not people or place dependent is the most powerful way I can create a consistent loving relative relationship with myself, giving breathe to my other activities and endeavors throughput the day. I know one of the largest adventures that I can take on each day is knowing myself on a more intimate level.  This hot pursuit of me, has a ripple effect allowing me to be my best for the people I love and the ones I have not even met.  Is it always easy, no! have I experienced more trial and error than consistency, at many times! The point is to keep at it, try new things and most importantly do what works for you! I would challenge tho that sleeping in probably works for everyone to a degree, so hold yourself to the measure of your best self and work up form there.

I would love to hear from you, what morning rituals light your soul fire? 

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Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about Lindsey, follow her@lindseyrainh2o

What is Love? not valentines day love, rather the filter of love, how does it shape your world?

check out the video to hear my take on the topic. 

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Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach  to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about Lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o 

The Unarguable truth and the Arguable truth.  What's the difference and why does it matter? It matters because this is another one of those skills that generates MORE energy and aliveness when done consistently. 

Authentic (unarguable) speaking is about telling the truth versus concealing.

Instead of telling the truth, a typical way of communicating is to withhold, withdraw and then project.   When we withhold information, concealing what is true, it begins to eat away at us. As the withholding goes on, withdrawing starts to occur and you begin avoiding the person you are concealing the truth from.  And then, the story telling, or a projection of what you think might be going on starts to occur, creating an impenetrable amount of space between the relationship.

If you are interested in trying a new way of communicating, one that is authentic/unarguable and generates more energy, there is a super easy way to begin playing with your articulation and arrangements of how you are feeling/doing etc. 

The three F's to speaking authentically/unarguably:

FACTS! We all love a good story except that the story can easily get out of hand and be a long way from the truth.  An easy way to clean up your communication is to speak facts, what actually happened, "I went to lunch with Susan".  It can be easy to take one small fact and create a whole story! AND while that can be fun, it also is a fast track to speaking in an arguable way.  Stick to the facts versus concealing/exaggerating what happened. 

FEELINGS! Just like facts, stick to what is real. A feeling is not a thought, "I feel like you ruined my whole life", is not an accurate description of how you are feeling.  Speaking about feelings sounds like, "I feel really angry about being in relationship with you".  When speaking about feelings it is best to stick to the core ones, anger, sadness, fear, sexual attraction and joy. 

FANTASIES! What do I mean by that? Well, just what you might think! Where is your imagination taking you and are you talking about it? Fantasies could be as elaborate as "I am imagining us creating a new product for our company and I want to share with you about it" or in an intimate relationship sharing about a dream vacation.  Sharing fantasies deepens relationships and creates more emotional intimacy.

The next time you find yourself withholding information and speaking in an arguable way, remember the three F's and see if you can create a new experience for yourself.  You'll know if you're not speaking authentically/unarguably, because you will feel uncomfortable around the person you are tangled up with.

Happy Communicating!

All content is my writing inspired by the integrity skills via Gay and Katie Hendricks, for more information click here. 

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Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach  to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about Lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o