We all have that voice inside our head that says “you can do it, you've got this” and, in contrast we all also have the voice that says “no you can’t, you're screwed.” The journey of which one wins at any given moment is an on going discovery process.

When I was in my early 20’s I was a store manger for Starbucks Coffee and one day in particular I remember dancing this very tango between “yes I can and no, I can not.” It was early one weekday morning and the regional manager had plans of touring my store that day. I had been whirling around all morning making sure my store was in impeccable shape for the visit. He walked in and I remember like it was yesterday, my entire body flooded with heat, I could feel my heart beat in my temples. I have no idea what he asked me about, what we spoke about or how long he was there, but I do remember that feeling and what was going on in my mind as we were talking. I remember having the experience internally of doubt and belief at this same time, and which ever voice I gave more attention, grew. The more I believed in myself and told myself I had a reason to be there, I was part of the conversation, the calmer I felt. In contrast, the more I doubted, the louder the heart beat in my head become and the hotter the back of my neck felt.

I did not know it that day but looking back, it was that time period that I started to realize I had the ability to experience situations differently based on how I decided to feel about them. Don’t ask me why this particular instance sticks in my head, all of us have “those moments” that leave a lasting impressions, and that day was the one where I noticed my own experience of other people and me. It was that time period and many years to follow (and still)  that I began to cultivate true confidence in who I am as a person and awareness of my value. It truly does not matter what your title is, how much money you make, if your picture is in a magazine, at the end of the day we are all human.

I love the way my friend Robert Dyer puts it, “you know Lindsey, we all put our pants on the same way, one leg at a time.” He had said that to me prior to a big meeting that I had myself pretty worked up over.  It took me many years to cultivate the confidence to see myself as whole and capable in the presence of those with larger titles than myself. Looking back, I don’t think it was one single experiences that cultivated confidence instead a compounding of many many experiences that brought me to where I am today. Which is by no means a state of “arrival,” however I can say that today I see myself as fully capable to have a conversation with anyone, even the president or the united states without the feeling of “less than” being part of my internal dialog, which is a far cry from where I came from.

In creating this article, I wanted to share my personal experiences on the topic as it has completely overhauled the way I see myself and therefore the world. Here are a few points in summary that when I think back were compounding experiences resulting in my ability to cultivate confidence.

Practice talking to people you feel afraid of talking to. 
As simple as this sounds, if you really evaluate your choices in people you talk to I would bet you air on the side of “safe” instead of risky, it is human nature to seek out comfort. The only way I have found to learn to tango with fear instead of bolt in the opposite direction is to face the fear square in the eyes and go for it. Do you follow an “important” personal on twitter that you would love to have a cup or coffee with? Ask them for a phone call! You know that quote we all “like” when it pops into our FB feed “do something each day that scares you,” this time, do it, scare yourself, I dare you.

Hang out with people doing and demonstrating what you want. 
The saying, “you are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with," find 3-5 people you want to be like when you grow up and hang out with them. Something I have done that I find useful is if the person is not available but they distribute content (Tim Ferriss, Gary Vaynerchuk, Amy Schmittauer) listen to/watch and consume their content. I have Tim Ferriss in my ear more than once per week, and as a result, he influences me. Find your role models and soak up their goodness as often as you can.

Take exquisite care of yourself and prioritize this above all. 
We are what we think, eat and do repeatedly. This is a basic equation and thought process AND the easiest to completely loose footing on and fall off track. The reality is this, if you do not take care of yourself, no one else will do this for you, it is your responsibility to love what you’ve got! We all see so many leaders burn out in their 40’s because they didn’t sleep, eat or exercise in their 30’s due to over working. I don’t know about you, but this whole gig is a marathon not a sprint, If I skimp on sleep, eat too much pizza and skip too many workouts today, it’s only a matter of time before I run out of steam and crash and burn. So even if it is inconvenient, create space for yourself everyday, and be vigilant about staying true to your routine. This will allow you to be available to everyone else. Self sacrifice at your own expense is not heroic, it is wasteful. If you do not care for yourself, your spouse, co worker, children and pets will get your leftovers instead of your best.

Cultivating confidence in yourself is a lifelong journey. Just when I think I have rounded one corner and feel great, a surprise is right around the next bend. The good news is that with practice dancing with fear, lots of help from other's and taking care of myself I will continue to create more confidence everyday. What’s the point you might ask of cultivating confidence? For me it is about being of maximum service to my purpose for being on this planet. We are all hear to fill our own specific and unique calling and having the confidences to say YES to life when the phone rings is what it is all about.

Do you struggle with confidence or want to chat on this topic? Send me a note and I would enjoy connecting with you on the topic. 

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Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

I remember not that long ago sitting down with a pen and paper and putting effort into writing down my values, my mission and my goals. I remember googling “how to know what you value”. I tell you that to let you know I have been there. I have had no idea what I wanted or how to get there, I understand not knowing where to start. I believe the point is to start in a direction, take that beginning step, and the next actions will follow once your feet are moving. 

Over the course of the last thirteen years, I have been designing my current lifestyle and I want to share with you how you can also design the life of your dreams. 

I shared a few weeks ago about Tim Ferriss’s book “The 4-Hour Workweek.” Excellent read and if you have not read it, do! I had been designing my days and weeks for a while when this book was introduced to me, and after reading, I had a whole new layer of clarity to work with. 

The New Rich (NR) are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility. This is an art and a science we will refer to as Lifestyle Design (LD).

When I read this, I was floored! It was as if I needed Tim (or someone) to give me permission to take the leap of faith into redesigning the way I lived. Tim talks a lot in the book about travel and how to create a life overseas, but the same rules apply wherever you are. The principle is this: how do you want to spend your day, what do you value, and what do you love doing that gives you the most energy? Do those things, build your income around those things, and the rest will fall into place.  

Now, if sitting on your ass eating pizza and binging on Netflix is your idea of a happy life, this might not be for you. Sometimes that is fun, I get it, but Tim’s idea is a bit of a higher calling and a bit more active. This is how I see it: it’s not so much about WHAT I make, but how I arrange my time and my dollars to fit with what I most want. For instance, If your priority is going for a long run in the morning, not sitting in traffic, and being able to eat lunch at home everyday, freelance writing starts to look like a perfect “job” to align with your lifestyle aims. So often, people decide their career and then fold their life around the job. I am suggesting to go in the opposite direction:  determine the life you want, what fills your cup up with ‘feel goods’, and then determine your career based on those first two pieces. 

The underlying baseline here is abundance thinking instead of scarcity. When you start to believe that the universe will support your dreams and desires, and that you are worthy of those things, your choices and your design will begin to sync up perfectly with that notion. What you do for work and how you spend your time will be in alignment with your higher purpose. Start to dream, write down your vision, your goals, your mission, and don’t be afraid to borrow someone else's until you find your own. 

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Lindsey Rainwater is a consultant and coach to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. 

Personal branding is about managing your name
- even if you don't own a business -
in a world of misinformation, disinformation, and semi-permanent Google records.
Going on a date? Chances are that your "blind" date has Googled your name.
Going to a job interview? Ditto.
-Tim Ferriss

I remember years ago reading the book Four Hour Work-Week by Tim Ferriss and after having read it, being in an alternative universe where anything is possible and everything goes.  Fortunately for me, the idea that anything is possible has grown exponentially and I still believe that you create the world you live in.

Tim’s quote is about the importance of caring tremendously about your digital footprint and your online image.  Where I left off a few weeks ago (you can check it out here if you missed that post) was that there are a handful of foundational points that need to be taken care of before you can carry on with streamlining your message and beginning to create content online.  Once you have the details in place to create your online presence, it is important to take a break, step back, and reflect upon your lifestyle design and goals before moving forward with your brand. 

After you have a beautiful headshot, brand continuity across platforms, and a general idea of what you want to be known for, the next step is to discover what you want the most in life and why. 

One of Stephen Covey’s famous quotes is “begin with the end in mind.” When applying that to your personal brand, the magic to a solid beginning is knowing where you are going.  When you know where you want to end up and why, your writing, personal brand, and daily actions begin to fall in line very quickly.  

Once you have laid the framework for your brand and online presence, the next two steps are for the purpose of syncing up your personal brand and the beginning stages of creating your lifestyle design; I found these two points to be very important in my own journey. 

• Find a role model and online presence to watch and take notes. 
• Create your end goal.

While marinating on those two action items, reading Four Hour Work Week and 7 Habits of Highly effective people to begin to create and focus on the type of lifestyle you want and how that plays a huge contributing role in your personal brand.  Lifestyle design is covered in great detail in Tim's book and I will be focusing on it intentionally in my next post, covering how my own lifestyle design led me to where I am today. 

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Lindsey Rainwater is a consultant and coach to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about Lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o, all content posted at www.lindseyrainh2o.com