The other day I was talking with a dear friend about perspective and what time and experience offers us in the journey that is life... Talk about a broad and generalized statement... I know, and, isn't it everything?
Never could I have known what I do now, about being a mother, until I became a mother. Simple yet a profound reality.
For anyone that knows me you could attest to the fact that I have always set a very high bar for myself, and with that comes the nagging reality that it can be very difficult for me to not project those same standards onto others.
I remember reading through content and making judgments about seeing other bloggers have a lapses in time between content, I get it now. My perspective now is that I am in the new context of mother and business owner, is one of empathy.
Empathy for myself, for others, and a true “pause and reflect” when I consider others reasoning for their behaviors.
Looking at myself here, on my blog, and I have not blogged for months! Months! I can hardly stand it.. and, I am fully committed to taking one day at a time and doing what a can each day. (Easier said than done?!)
With all that being said, I felt compelled to go back through the blogs I wrote this time last year, pre-birth of my son, to see how my perspective has changed, the narrative is below:
Here is my response to my own ideas, one childbirth, one association birth, and, many many fewer hours of sleep, later.
“My husband and I will be expecting our first born in mid July of this year. What a journey it had been the past 5+ months! My experience of being pregnant has naturally brought up all kinds of feelings and thoughts, and what I really want to share here is the transformational minded thoughts and ideas I am experiencing while moving towards this life change.”
I really appreciate my thoughtfulness and the intention I brought to my own personal preparation of having a child. That thoughtfulness has definitely paid off in the realm of having ideas and intentions to create the most meaningful home experiences for Oliver, My husband and I. With that being said, I wish it was as eloquent as I described it above.. it is not, lol. Everyday is different, everyday brings new challenges and most nights I fall asleep while having a conversation with my husband, it isn't perfect and, I love every single minute of it.
"The societal pressures and models out there leave something to be desired, at least for me, and I've found my current position on the topic to be "make it up", create a way, a new method and then see if it works! "
Absolutely true! And not easy! choosing to create a life that is not typical is not easy, and, I have come to realize that if you want to create something totally different for yourself, you totally can. I don't subscribe to the idea that women have to choose between work and motherhood, and, I don't think it's about taking your kids to the office, there are other options that can be fulfilling... it is all about choices. These choices have been THE hardest ones of my life, I give a shit, big time, about being wtih my son, impacting the business I have created and supporting WIFA... with that love for all of those people comes choices, I am doing my best day by day! And, If anyone wants to ever chat about how they have naviagted these waters, I am all ears!
"Tony Robbins and others talk about ideas like "integration" instead of balance, for people like myself that are deeply passionate about their work and friendships, then it becomes less about choosing and more about integrating."
I wish balance was a thing... ha! I personally think that's a racket... choices however, that is absolutely a thing that you can have control over... where does your time in a day go and how does it align with your circumstances.
As I like to say, "who you are at the kitchen table is who you are at work"... my kitchen table is about to be set for 3, and I am anticipating the adventure of how that will propel me to be even better and have more to offer in every area of my life.
It most certainly is set for 3, my 10 month old son eats more than me! Funny, and, he has a brilliant appetite. I was telling a mentor the other day that my experience of myself as a mother is one of profound confidence that comes from a place of knowing and believing in myself and what I have to offer the world. The fierce love that comes with becoming a mother is one that I have never felt before, it changed me over night, and I am forever grateful to Oliver for the transformational quality of "no more BS" that came with becoming his mother. My ability to be discerning in my work, my relationship and all the communities I am a part of is so profound and impactful, what a gift motherhood truly is!
Have you had a life change that you have gone through that created the space for you to pause, reflect and adjust your sails? I would love to hear about it, it's through community that we can all grow near and use the blessing of empathy to show each other what's possible.