Posts tagged feeling your feelings
You Don't Know What You Don't Know.

Hello Blog, I've missed you.

Twelve weeks ago my husband and I welcomed to the world our first born son, Oliver Brysen.  I have paused my writing to turn my whole attention towards Mr Oliver and the best way I can think of starting my blog up again is to share with you my experience of transitioning into motherhood. 

Image is a screen shot of my screen

Image is a screen shot of my screen

You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their most frequently used emojis. Face palm, baby, heart and poop are all highly relevant ways to describe my life via images.

Reflecting on the past 12 weeks and my experience of labor and delivery, the underscored theme for me is this: I simply didn't know what I didn’t know. I have come to realize that no level of preparation, reading, even babysitting can prepare one for the transformation that occurs when having a child.

Looking back on my last few weeks pregnant I felt prepared, I thought I had a plan, I thought through every last detail around organizing my life to prepare for Oliver's arrival.  What actually happened?  Nothing can prepare even the most prepared person for what having a child does to change you.

Lindsey and Oliver One day old, July 22, 2017

Lindsey and Oliver One day old, July 22, 2017

I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends a few weeks ago and he said to me "yeah, you give a shit which makes it that much harder", how simple and complex is that statement and yet it  summarizes my entire world view.

I care, a lot, and am very thoughtful and purposeful about how I do everything and is therefore making my adjustment to motherhood a grand adventure. I knew going into this transition that what I was looking forward to the most besides the incredible fact of having a baby was the transformational playground it would be: I had no idea how deep that would go. 

My experience was of an intense journey in rediscovering myself in a new way.  I have always loved my work, my relationships and generally how I show up in the world and have done a tremendous amount of work around self discovery to really know myself intimately.  I’ve always known myself to have my to do list buttoned up at the end of each day, all emails read and responded to, notifications cleared, exercise done, house clean... this is no longer my life :) I’ve never had more days in a row where “getting to it later” is the theme.

Priority’s shift, right fellow Mums? Do the dishes or feed my newborn? Oliver wins every time!

Lindsey and Oliver, Over 5 weeks old,  Photo Cred. From the Hip, Nina

Lindsey and Oliver, Over 5 weeks old, Photo Cred. From the Hip, Nina

For the structured control freak that I’ve always been, what a shake up! Not to mention the physical changes, little sleep, hormone roller coasters, postpartum depression and a deep love that becomes the new compass for everything. Woah. 

One of my favorite mentors uses the phrase "insight follows experience" Thank you Kathlyn Hendricks for this simple yet all knowing phrase.

I chose to share with you these humble facts as a way of tipping my hat to all the mothers that do this dance everyday.  The dance of doing their work, loving their spouse, loving their children and managing to put on mascara and smile while at it all!

The best thing is that time is truly magical, it really does heal and teach us.  Over the last 12 weeks time has taught me how to begin working again, getting more done in a day, caring for my needs to be a better business owner, wife and mother.  It has not been an overnight switch flip like I thought I could prepare for, but it has been my life’s greatest teaching so far.  

Thank you Oliver, my sweet Son for co-facilitating the most transformational experience of my life.  I am the luckiest mother alive to get to be your mama, thank you for choosing me! 

Lindsey, Jeremy and Oliver, Oliver 5 weeks old , Photo Cred. From the Hip

Lindsey, Jeremy and Oliver, Oliver 5 weeks old, Photo Cred. From the Hip

Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business advisor, Founder, writer & keynote speaker to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

The Fastest Way to Being Your Sexiest Self! #WakeUpWednesday

So what is the fastest way to your sexiest self? To best articulate for you, I want to talk about the fastest way to get off track when seeking your sexiest self. 


When I think of my own understanding of Blame it goes a little something like this;

I am feeling (fill in the blank, angry, sad, happy) and it is because of (fill in the blank, person, thing, situation). Basically, shifting my energy outside of myself and assigning someTHING to the experience I am having. Blame is not always negative, it could be positive, all life experiences do affect us. I believe it is to the degree it takes us out of our essence (who we are minus persona) that it becomes less about feeling our feelings and more about being wrapped up in the drama.

The drama! this is the power behind blame and what makes it so seductive!

I want you to try something... put your pointer finger in the air and point your finger out in front of yourself and YELL, HA, HA, I got you, HA! and again HA! Do you feel it? the adrenaline coursing through you?

You just created an adrenaline rush by revving up your blame engine. There in point is the problem, we are all slightly to heavily addicted to that feeling... adrenaline. So to keep the adrenaline hamster wheel spinning, the fastest way in relationships to get there is BLAME!

So now that a very clear understanding of Blame and not being sexy has been reached, let's talk about how to shift out of blame and into responsibility aka. super sexiness. :)

Typically, underneath the blame, almost always is a feeling that is unaddressed and a request to get what you really want. Think about it, a lot of blame is really a cry for attention, just in the wrong place. You know the song "looking for love in all the wrong places", blame is not the problem, attention is! and everyone deserves and needs attention to survive. Taking active responsibility to request what you want is the fastest track to sexiness, giving you the power to choose vs. blame!

hmmmmm, next time you feel a feeling and start looking for it's proper assigner "I feel angry because you....." remember this article, pause and see if there is something you really want , or can really feel.  Honor that and un cover another fresh breath of knowing yourself on an even more intimate level.

Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach to the fitness and wellness industry. She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping Health Club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions. For more information about Lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o

Your Body Is Wicked Smart!

Two weeks ago I wrote about Emotional Intelligence, if you missed it click here to read the post.  

Once an understanding is reached about Emotional Intelligence, the next step in peeling the onion is moving from awareness and into action.  If being emotionally intelligent means that we understand our emotions, then how do we go about doing that, literally? 

When feeling happy, sad, angry, fearful or sexual sensations, what happens next? 

This weekend I began to read a new book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership a new paradigm for sustainable success. I was reminded of the topic of feeling our feelings and I really love the way they broke it down. 

What are you feeling right now?

Discerning between thoughts and feelings and locating the feelings in your body to best describe your experience. 

 "The core emotions show up in certain regions of the body.  For example, fear often manifests as a sensation in the belly (like butterflies inhale stomach), whereas anger appears in the back, shoulders, neck and jaw, as well as down the arms to the hands.  We typically experience sadness as a sensation in the heart area, the front of the throat and face, and in the eyes.  Joy is often experienced as a rising, effervescent sensation in the core of the body or up the spine, and sexual feelings are typically experiences as tingling sensations in the erogenous zones... Learning these emotional zones of the body can be a shortcut to emotional maturity.  When you feel a sensation in one of those areas, check to see if the corresponding emotion is present.  Let the body lead your awareness." -The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership 

The most genius fact about your feelings in connection to your body is that it is all connected.  We feel feelings and think thoughts and our body shares with our minds how the feeling is showing up so that we can send our attention towards the sensation.  Powerful stuff when you really think about it.

Here is an example from my own life.  When I am not traveling I work from my computer a lot and I often notice that my shoulders and upper back can start to ache.  When I recognize that sensation and check in with my thoughts, add breath and ask myself what am I feeling, typically something has me feeling angry.  My upper back and neck do not just start independently aching, there is a reason I created that sensation. Not always is there a big "thing" to be undone, it could be as simple as too many notifications are dinging, creating irritability while focused.  The point being, when I bring my sensitive awareness to what I am experiencing my energy is refreshed.

My invitation this week is when you find yourself feeling achy or feeling a feeling, check in and ask yourself; where is the feeling landing in your body? 

There is so much to be discussed on this topic and I just barely skimmed the surface.  Please check out The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership or Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks live workshops to learn more about your feelings and the body's intelligence. 

Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach  to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o 

Life on Life's Terms: The Power of Feeling your Feelings

This past month has been a whirlwind of  emotions, thoughts, realizations and transition.

It is not often that life creates the opportunity to transition and transform to a new space because "something happened", but when it does I see it as an opportunity for personal re-birth.

A month ago almost to date my Father left this physical earth and passed on.  He had been sick for years with an illness informally known as Lou Gehrig's Disease and on Fathers day his time came.  

As I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts, I decided to show up and share about what the transition to life without my father has been like.  If nothing else to provide a space to hold anyone else suffering from the loss of a loved one,  you are loved and seen.

The power of feeling my feelings and honoring my process has been one of true reward.  I have always known that my feelings do not have to result in taking action and sometimes the best action to take is sitting still and allowing the process of riding the wave to complete.

I feel optimistically giddy to tell you that even in the midst of the deepest processing of emotion I have ever known, joy can also be felt.  Really the joy of being able to allow myself to go all the way with what I am feeling.  I create more aliveness in myself the more I embrace the process, and remember that no matter what, my process is perfect for me. 

Settling back into the familiar activities that add up to being my life, it feels special to be able to share my process with you.  I am joyfully optimistic that for whatever reasons that may be that I lost my father from this physical earth, only the most positive and abundant circumstances will follow in my life.  One of my dearest friends lovingly shared with me to "honor and own the unexpressed creativity and use it to express your life fully".  What a gift, to lovingly cary on the vibrant and loving character that was so freely woven into me.

love you Daddy!

Lindsey Rainwater is an experienced consultant and coach  to the fitness and wellness industry.  She specializes in business development and leadership. Currently she is working with the Fitmarc Team helping club owners all over the south central region of the united states propel their business forward via group exercise solutions.  For more information about lindsey, follow her @lindseyrainh2o