Posts tagged Co parenting
You Don't Know What You Don't Know.

Hello Blog, I've missed you.

Twelve weeks ago my husband and I welcomed to the world our first born son, Oliver Brysen.  I have paused my writing to turn my whole attention towards Mr Oliver and the best way I can think of starting my blog up again is to share with you my experience of transitioning into motherhood. 

Image is a screen shot of my screen

Image is a screen shot of my screen

You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their most frequently used emojis. Face palm, baby, heart and poop are all highly relevant ways to describe my life via images.

Reflecting on the past 12 weeks and my experience of labor and delivery, the underscored theme for me is this: I simply didn't know what I didn’t know. I have come to realize that no level of preparation, reading, even babysitting can prepare one for the transformation that occurs when having a child.

Looking back on my last few weeks pregnant I felt prepared, I thought I had a plan, I thought through every last detail around organizing my life to prepare for Oliver's arrival.  What actually happened?  Nothing can prepare even the most prepared person for what having a child does to change you.

Lindsey and Oliver One day old, July 22, 2017

Lindsey and Oliver One day old, July 22, 2017

I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends a few weeks ago and he said to me "yeah, you give a shit which makes it that much harder", how simple and complex is that statement and yet it  summarizes my entire world view.

I care, a lot, and am very thoughtful and purposeful about how I do everything and is therefore making my adjustment to motherhood a grand adventure. I knew going into this transition that what I was looking forward to the most besides the incredible fact of having a baby was the transformational playground it would be: I had no idea how deep that would go. 

My experience was of an intense journey in rediscovering myself in a new way.  I have always loved my work, my relationships and generally how I show up in the world and have done a tremendous amount of work around self discovery to really know myself intimately.  I’ve always known myself to have my to do list buttoned up at the end of each day, all emails read and responded to, notifications cleared, exercise done, house clean... this is no longer my life :) I’ve never had more days in a row where “getting to it later” is the theme.

Priority’s shift, right fellow Mums? Do the dishes or feed my newborn? Oliver wins every time!

Lindsey and Oliver, Over 5 weeks old,  Photo Cred. From the Hip, Nina

Lindsey and Oliver, Over 5 weeks old, Photo Cred. From the Hip, Nina

For the structured control freak that I’ve always been, what a shake up! Not to mention the physical changes, little sleep, hormone roller coasters, postpartum depression and a deep love that becomes the new compass for everything. Woah. 

One of my favorite mentors uses the phrase "insight follows experience" Thank you Kathlyn Hendricks for this simple yet all knowing phrase.

I chose to share with you these humble facts as a way of tipping my hat to all the mothers that do this dance everyday.  The dance of doing their work, loving their spouse, loving their children and managing to put on mascara and smile while at it all!

The best thing is that time is truly magical, it really does heal and teach us.  Over the last 12 weeks time has taught me how to begin working again, getting more done in a day, caring for my needs to be a better business owner, wife and mother.  It has not been an overnight switch flip like I thought I could prepare for, but it has been my life’s greatest teaching so far.  

Thank you Oliver, my sweet Son for co-facilitating the most transformational experience of my life.  I am the luckiest mother alive to get to be your mama, thank you for choosing me! 

Lindsey, Jeremy and Oliver, Oliver 5 weeks old , Photo Cred. From the Hip

Lindsey, Jeremy and Oliver, Oliver 5 weeks old, Photo Cred. From the Hip


Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business advisor, Founder, writer & keynote speaker to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

Hang Up Your Hero Hat and Ask for Help Instead
How much can you accomplish in a day?  Well, if you are anything like me you take a certain amount of pride in what you are able to do with your time and most of the time, when you want something done you simply, handle it.

In the spirit of keeping things fresh and exciting, listen to this short and insightful dialog around asking for help.

Is it hard for you to know when to ask for help? 

Let me know what you think about the audio, something new I am playing with :) 

Click here if you'd like to listen on Anchor.com instead of in this post

Name *
Name
Audio Feedback

    Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

    How the Future of Work Can Inform Life Integration Choices
    Lindsey Rainwater, Photo taken by From the HIp Phtoto, March 2017 

    Lindsey Rainwater, Photo taken by From the HIp Phtoto, March 2017 

    Tony Robbins and others talk about ideas like "integration" instead of balance, for people like myself that are deeply passionate about their work and friendships, then it becomes less about choosing and more about integrating.  I often hear people say, "I don't act that way at work" or "in my personal life", statements like this rattle me! It is impossible to fragment yourself in that way. Sure, we can all perform certain tasks or deliver on objectives but who we are all bleeds together, you are a whole person everywhere you go and if "part of you" is not at the party, well, everyone including you is suffering. As I like to say, "who you are at the kitchen table is who you are at work"... my kitchen table is about to be set for 3, and I am anticipating the adventure of how that will propel me to be even better and have more to offer in every area of my life.

    The above quote is from my last article "the Context of Integration" if you missed it, check it out to inform my context for this blog... see how I did that? :)  My intention is to focus this blog post on all things integration, now that we have some context around why I am talking about integration on a whole new level, let's chat about how the future of work "mentality" can inform a schedule or ideals for living.

    Now as a disclaimer,  I am writing on these topics and speculating amidst my journey being pregnant, nothing I share has been vetted by myself as a parent, yet. So I am sure those of you that are parents already have informed opinions about what I am writing about based on experiences you've had, so please join in the conversation! It will be really great to see if my intentions and ideals line up with reality, only time will tell ;-)

    Back to "The future of work" idea... what is this concept all about anyway? It certainly is a heavy buzz phrase being used and I do have my own opinion on the topic and there is of course always also what google has to say.  

    The Future of work is a lot of things to a lot of people based on their motivation and topic they are relating it to, and, for the purpose of our discussion lets keep it simple;  if you distill down the concepts it boils down to what is possible relating to work, because of technology.   For instance, growing up, my Dad was an Engineer, he "went to work" everyday, to an office where his computer and the people he collaborated with also went, to do his job, returning home each evening leaving all the things required to "do his job", there at the office.  Now, if my Dad did that exact same job today, he could work 100% remote, from anywhere in the world.  Thanks to laptops, iPhones, and video conferencing a role like his could be done completely outside of the construct of a company occupying an office space etc.  

    With that flexibility all sorts of freedoms become available, he could have easily taken a lunch break at home, taken a 30 minute break to do the afternoon carpool pick up, and really allowed for a completely different co-parenting arrangement than what I grew up with.  My Mom would have had the flexibility during the day having him home, and arguably, he would have gotten the same (if not more) work done with less the typical office distractions.  The idea of co-parenting becomes more liberated when you add in "future of work" concepts because lines are blurred, it is no longer a linear process of "we all leave the house, we all come back to the house" but instead, the home becomes a hub  and off site offices or daycare becomes less necessary.  

    An important note to add here is that remote work requires many upstanding character traits both for the employee and the employer.  I am not saying this transition from office to home can happen over night, however with the right culture and values in place, anything is possible when seen through the lens of abundance.  The good news is if the organization and it's employees can take on the venture, the concept of the future of work can really liberate our existing "jobs" and create new dynamics that disrupt the old styles and models of work.

    One of my favorite ideas that is found inside of this same notion is that of "jobs" no longer existing and instead collaboration or aligned talent becomes the new way.  Think freelancing, but at signifiant scale.  However, that is another blog for another time, coming back to the topic... what is most important here is the idea that IF we are working in collaboration, with location freedom, the opportunities to get extremely creative with integration becomes completely available to anyone that wants to try it out. 

    In 2011 my mentor and friend, Bryan O'Rourke suggested I read a book called the 4 hour work week, I did and now I am going to suggest that you, go read that book if have not before!  That book planted a very important idea in my mind that has since collided with other similar ideas and helped inform many of my day to day decisions.  I realized after reading that book that my choices, what I as spending time on, was completely up to me, and my evaluation of how I did certain activities was also, up to me.  I (nor anyone else) is at "the effect" of any choices, you at some point, made a choice that is contributing to what is your current reality.  So if you are doing something and want to be doing something else, make a new choice.  For instance, would you rather spend an extra two hours per weekend with your spouse instead of cleaning your house, well, outsource that chore to a person that likes cleaning and pay them to clean your house, get that time back.  Feel like you can't afford that? How much did you spend at Amazon or at Starbucks today? The money is usually there if you look for it.  That is one example, but I really started asking myself questions about my time, where I spent it, was it really creating the results I wanted and how could I change if it wasn't? 

    A good place to start would be to take an inventory of what you are currently spending time on.  Just like analyzing your bank account transactions to assess where your money is going, assessing what you spend time in is a very similar activity.  Are you committed to suffering or thriving? wasting time or creating time?  All of these choices are yours for the taking. 

    A good way to do this is print out a by the hour calendar, or use a digital daily view and write in each day, then for the week what you are doing and for how long, don't lie, you will only cheat yourself if you do.  Once you have done this "reverse" calendaring of sorts, start to look at what you spend time doing and for how long, create groups, rank them, include sleep, tv time, time with loved ones, gym activities... record everything you do... how long does it take you to get ready in the morning etc.  After you have inventoried your time, take a good look at the facts about what you are spending time on and only when ready,  ask yourself these two vital questions.  

    Do you actually want to create time to integrate new and exciting endeavors? 

    Do you want to experience thriving or have you created a life of suffering to keep you safe?

    Part of this mind shift is giving up any notion of martyrdom or complaining, sure life can be hard, but talking about what you don't enjoy less action will no longer work once you know the facts about your time spending habits. 

    Once you know the answer to your question, if you are willing to integrate thriving into your life, the future of work becomes a concept that is totally obvious and easy to consider. 

    In my world, all of these activities and concepts combined by a very realistic (almost obsessive) knowledge of where my time goes, is really informing how I am planning to integrate being a mother, my work in the world and all of my favorite relationships into one big pot of Lindsey Rainh2o, soup! 

    Commitment, choice and intention.  Every single day can be filled with work helping others, time with those you love and time investing in yourself.  Although, becoming a mother is the largest integration I have ever imagined, I do believe that rather than thinking I can "do it all", whatever that means, instead, I get to choose from a place of choice.  I choose now and plan to continue to choose to create time each day to do the things I really love doing and that mindset, I believe will contribute to informing how I co author the next chapter of my life integration. 


    Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O

    The Context of Integration

    For the past 6 years, this blog has served as a fabulous landing place to share on a variety of topics and learnings. 

    Photo Credit, From the Hip Photo, March 2017

    Photo Credit, From the Hip Photo, March 2017

    At each bend and turn my journey of life takes, I see how my writing here also mirrors wherever I am and paints the color of my perspective in those moments in time.  For years I have shared my own personal take on what topics that are most current for me and how my business and life intersect and the tools in relationship to my own experiences. 

    Another one of those "life curves" is here and this time it's My curves that are really taking shape and allowing for the baby growing inside of me to evolve. My husband and I will be expecting our first born in mid July of this year.  What a journey it had been the past 5+  months! My experience of being pregnant has naturally brought up all kinds of feelings and thoughts, and what I really want to share here is the transformational minded thoughts and ideas I am experiencing while moving towards this life change.   

    Of course, being pregnant is literally a change in and of itself. Beyond the physical change, is the real life practicality of how to plan accordingly and weave together all that life is offering up.

    Some of the topics I will be sharing with you over the coming weeks are how the future of work, which is NOW, by the way the future is here ;-) allows for a totally new take on the working dynamics for co parenting and what's possible.  The societal pressures and models out there leave something to be desired, at least for me, and I've found my current position on the topic to be "make it up", create a way, a new method and then see if it works! Of course I am more than likely not creating something that has never been done, but thinking outside the traditional lines is what is most important to me. 

    I plan to share with you over the coming weeks how I am personally approaching moving towards motherhood and also prioritizing and choosing all the things that really matter to me.

    Tony Robbins and others talk about ideas like "integration" instead of balance, for people like myself that are deeply passionate about their work and friendships, then it becomes less about choosing and more about integrating.  I often hear people say is "I don't act that way at work" or "in my personal life", statements like this rattle me! It is impossible to fragment yourself in that way, sure we can all perform certain tasks or deliver on objectives but who we are, all bleeds together, you are a whole person everywhere you go and if "part of you" is not at the party, well, everyone including you is suffering.

    As I like to say, "who you are at the kitchen table is who you are at work"... my kitchen table is about to be set for 3, and I am anticipating the adventure of how that will propel me to be even better and have more to offer in every area of my life. 

    Stay tuned, my next blog will be about  how the future of work mentality is helping me create my future work routine.


    Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business consultant, leadership coach, writer and presenter to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O