You Don't Know What You Don't Know.
Hello Blog, I've missed you.
Twelve weeks ago my husband and I welcomed to the world our first born son, Oliver Brysen. I have paused my writing to turn my whole attention towards Mr Oliver and the best way I can think of starting my blog up again is to share with you my experience of transitioning into motherhood.
You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their most frequently used emojis. Face palm, baby, heart and poop are all highly relevant ways to describe my life via images.
Reflecting on the past 12 weeks and my experience of labor and delivery, the underscored theme for me is this: I simply didn't know what I didn’t know. I have come to realize that no level of preparation, reading, even babysitting can prepare one for the transformation that occurs when having a child.
Looking back on my last few weeks pregnant I felt prepared, I thought I had a plan, I thought through every last detail around organizing my life to prepare for Oliver's arrival. What actually happened? Nothing can prepare even the most prepared person for what having a child does to change you.
I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends a few weeks ago and he said to me "yeah, you give a shit which makes it that much harder", how simple and complex is that statement and yet it summarizes my entire world view.
I care, a lot, and am very thoughtful and purposeful about how I do everything and is therefore making my adjustment to motherhood a grand adventure. I knew going into this transition that what I was looking forward to the most besides the incredible fact of having a baby was the transformational playground it would be: I had no idea how deep that would go.
My experience was of an intense journey in rediscovering myself in a new way. I have always loved my work, my relationships and generally how I show up in the world and have done a tremendous amount of work around self discovery to really know myself intimately. I’ve always known myself to have my to do list buttoned up at the end of each day, all emails read and responded to, notifications cleared, exercise done, house clean... this is no longer my life :) I’ve never had more days in a row where “getting to it later” is the theme.
Priority’s shift, right fellow Mums? Do the dishes or feed my newborn? Oliver wins every time!
For the structured control freak that I’ve always been, what a shake up! Not to mention the physical changes, little sleep, hormone roller coasters, postpartum depression and a deep love that becomes the new compass for everything. Woah.
One of my favorite mentors uses the phrase "insight follows experience" Thank you Kathlyn Hendricks for this simple yet all knowing phrase.
I chose to share with you these humble facts as a way of tipping my hat to all the mothers that do this dance everyday. The dance of doing their work, loving their spouse, loving their children and managing to put on mascara and smile while at it all!
The best thing is that time is truly magical, it really does heal and teach us. Over the last 12 weeks time has taught me how to begin working again, getting more done in a day, caring for my needs to be a better business owner, wife and mother. It has not been an overnight switch flip like I thought I could prepare for, but it has been my life’s greatest teaching so far.
Thank you Oliver, my sweet Son for co-facilitating the most transformational experience of my life. I am the luckiest mother alive to get to be your mama, thank you for choosing me!
Lindsey Rainwater, also known as Lindsey RainH2O, is a sought-after business advisor, Founder, writer & keynote speaker to the fitness and wellness industry. For more information about Rainwater, follow her on Twitter@LindseyRainH2O